"I pray this so that you will be able to decide what really matters and so you will be sincere and blameless on the day of Christ"
--Philippians 1:10 (CEB)
Most of us know that building intimacy is not the easiest of tasks. So many obstacles arise seemingly out of nowhere to build walls where none should be, and communication is a critical skill to master if one is to keep these walls down between a husband and a wife. Yet, sometimes, one spouse can be an effective, even inspirational, communicator to everyone but their own marriage mate.
Reasons for this can be an exhaustive list, but they are not impossible to overcome. While it would be nice, you don't need to feel as if perfect communications are required. Nor do you need to be able to impart all your thoughts to your spouse in one attempt. All you really need to do is to get your spouse's attention, to get them to notice you have something to say. And the best message to send, the one with the most powerful impact, is I care about you.
This can be a difficult message to get through in times of tribulation. But a good spiritual routine can be of especially good help during these moments. Prayer is such a powerful tool for the Christian couple, and can be used for a variety of purposes. And never forget, prayer is a tool for communication.
A small, yet vital, part of my family's spiritual routine is the customary prayer before meals. It keeps us humble in recognizing that we can enjoy the bounty of this world in even such a simple was as a meal only through the Grace of God. And, just as importantly, even during those times of tribulations, our prayers get said.
During a recent tribulation, without really meaning to, I did something I probably should have done much sooner. It was during the nightly prayer before dinner, with my Bride and the Brood at the table, that I gave Jehovah thanks for the opportunity to enjoy his wonderful bounty with my family. And then I added:
"Lord, my beloved wife is having some difficulties right now deciding on a job she can take. Please lend your Holy Spirit to bring her peace of mind and the benefit of your Wisdom to choose the right course of action, for her benefit according to your will."That was it. Nothing more.
And the tears started rolling down my Bride's face.
The kids watched somewhat anxiously, wondering Did Dad blow it again? Even the toddler seemed to hold her breath, her spoon motionless above her bowl.
And me, of course, saying stupidly, "What's the matter?"
"I didn't think you cared," she sobbed.
"We talked about this last night, remember?" That had been what started the tribulation.
"But all you said was I would make the right choice," she replies. Kids still quiet--amazingly quiet.
"Of course," is my brilliant response. " I know you will."
"But you just prayed for me. You really care." Click.
So I want to say that the final moral of the story is this: Intimacy requires communication, so don't waste any good channels. Take a little bit of extra time, just a few seconds, to let your spouse know, in no uncertain terms, that you care. And an easy way to do this is through your prayers, to let God, your spouse, all those around you, and even yourself know how much you really do care--you know: the Important Things.
My prayers to you all.