Mind you, if my bride ever found it within her heart to bless me with OS, I would probably never be able to thank her enough (though I would definitely try.) It's just that I don't--need it.
When I was younger, I spent several years half-in/half-out of the dark side of sex. I had gone through a critical time stuck in a hole that saw me attempt suicide before I turned to the "seedier" side to climb back out. And I did manage to climb out because what I observed there showed me how insignificant my problems really were. But I was always a spectator. I wasn't interested in participating--well, yes I was. However, uncommitted sex did not appeal to me, and as I drew closer to several of these girls, mostly strip-club dancers--but also a couple of straight-to-video (brand new concept back then) porn-stars--that viewpoint became even stronger.
These young ladies took me everywhere (I had a nice car then, and even money at the beginning) . Dancer bars, other strip clubs, live sex shows where they'd be performing, some *exotic* shows as well. I was the "safe guy." They asked my opinion on how to make their performances more "real" and exciting. We're talking minute, intimate mechanics here. Extremely weird for a virgin male. They called me when they were too drunk to get home, when they wanted to go shopping, or after they fought with their boyfriend-of-the-month. The most common thing I heard among these ladies they all liked "plain-vanilla" sex. They craved it; for them it was special. Well, perhaps things have changed since those days.
As my senses returned, my funds disappeared, and I got wiser, I gradually stepped out of the shadows. I tried, really tried, to get those girls out as well. But they didn't want out, not really. Had I been in the Truth then, well--I probably would never had met them, anyway. I did buy airplane tickets for a couple of them though, but they returned after a two or three months, right back where they started. Said they liked the life too much, had gotten addicted to the "freedom" of sex, that "plain vanilla" had lost its appeal.
Sex had become their burden to bear on the way to Golgotha.
I think those years drifting through the shadows, experiencing life there, has affected me in a deeper way than I had previously thought. Seeing first hand how sexual desires can take hold and dominate your entire being in ways you never thought possible has probably killed my taste center for sex. Don't get me wrong: I long for it, desire it, want to get as much as I can. But whatever "acts" my bride gifts me with is enough in those times she is warm, ready and willing. What else do I really need? Or could possibly want? I'll still end up at the same place, if only a little faster or slower: Satisfied and in my beloved's arms.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to spice up/change up your sex life. Nothing at all. Our God has given us remarkable freedom in this area. But when this "wanting something new" begins to dominate our thoughts, even though we might otherwise be enjoying a bountiful sex life, it slowly leads us to resent or even coerce a spouse who, for whatever reason, won't indulge us with our whim. And then we have let ourselves become a greedy slave to our desires--we have become Idolaters (Col 3:5)
Sex becomes our burden to bear on the way to Golgotha.
And on which side of the Christ do you think we will be placed?
Keeps your desires in perspective, doesn't it?
Image courtesy of digitalart and Vlado at FreeDigitalPhotos.net